I don’t even know what he’s talking about and barely care. All of us uncomfortably now in?ĭear Howard: My dumb boyfriend says he wants to get his cock pearled. Certainly, sounds like howler coins skipping across septic tank surfaces to me, lean down! Sniff closer. Welcome, sweet readers, to Howard’s rollicking summertime, beach-blanket sandpit fresh from Hell! Join the conga line in my introductory tutorial on the sensational thrills of penis-pearling and today’s teched-out sex dolls of tomorrow.
As if cast adrift upon a melting iceberg, all the usual daily news horror stories - Ukraine, Putin, climate change, Rona and the ever-looming specter of WWIII - suddenly take back-burner to an escapist tide of sexual eschewal rolling in (think the Depp/Heard trial).Īll my usual foam-&-froth inquiries, too (i.e., “Howard, how many calories does a normal BJ contain?”) ignite instantly into torpid carnage over penis size versus personal wealth: Which would you trade off when pitting one against the other? One can always tell June’s official mating season has arrived when people’s collective worries turn from planet Earth to penile girth. Legitimate summer’s here, at last, and right on cue, too.
